Networking:
How to win friends & influence people

Do you wonder why people "less able" than you have got on? How they got the promotion and not you?

It's not always the "old school tie", but it may well be because he actively kept in touch with people.

So many of us find it difficult to meet people and come away with anything more than a bit of conversation. But others seem to be able to phone their contacts up, have a chat, and keep in touch - they are networked NETWORKING Last week, I discussed NETWORKING, and what it's about.

This week, I'd like to expand on the theme, as it is all too easy to read something, agree, then move on without DOING anything about it.

IT'S EASY….

Some people find networking very easy. They are extroverts, and find it stimulating. However, one thing is consistent about successful networkers - or should I say, SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

They constantly widening their circle of acquaintances not because they think they can USE them, but because these people genuinelyinterest them.

BUT NOT FOR ME….

If, like me, you believe that networking is a necessary, if somewhat painful, activity, which MAY just reap unknown benefits in the future, then it helps to be familiar with some of the techniques employed by the experts.

In his book, Megatrends, John Naisbitt says:"In the networking environment, rewards come by empowering others, not by climbing over them."

Still, most of us have a built in reluctance to socialize with those we don't know so well. After all, if you are surviving OK, going about your job, can't you leave networking to the extroverts and the name-droppers? Well yes, up to a point.

But note the word SURVIVE.

If you want your career to thrive, you really have no option but to continually extend your range of contacts, whether you like talking to strangers or not.

In 1974 Mark Granovetter reported that some 56% of professional and technical workers he interviewed in a Boston suburb had found their jobs through a personal connection.

But these opportunities mainly came about through what Granovetter calls "weak ties".

The most important and influential people in our lives and careers are those we are closest to.

But these people tend to have similar interests and move in similar circles to ourselves. That's why in my last article, I gave a list of different sources of contacts: - your family - friends and neighbors - colleagues at work - suppliers and customers - church & social - professional associations - personal service providers - These are the STARTING POINTS, and many are merely acquaintances - though I hope not your family!!

There is something called the six degrees of separation - that you will know someone who knows someone else who … who knows the President of the United States, in only 6 steps. That's POWER!

But it is also what Granovetter calls this "the strength of weak ties".

So, when you next find yourself with the opportunity to network, don't just speak to those you already know. You can open up exciting new worlds for yourself: all it takes is some effort, a positive attitude, good manners and a little organization behind the scenes.

THAT'S ALL VERY WELL, BUT….

However, if you are naturally shy, then that is all very well.

Just remember what BBC radio producer Carol Stone, says in her recent book Networking: The Art of Making Friends: "the sternest people melt when they think you could be interested in what they have to say".

The skill is in listening. However, be prepared to make the first move. "Do you mind if I join you?" is seldom met with the answer "yes, I do". Your own introduction then gives the other person the chance to launch into their story, and you're on your way.

Lastly, be sure to write down who you've met, with any action points , as soon as you can after the event. Don't wait till the next day - you won't remember the important bits.

Books

I mentioned a few books in the article above. If you want to find out more, then click on the appropriate link below, remembering you can buy either from the US or the UK. I have listed the three above, plus another which I personally found very useful in a practical sense:

1. Megatrendsby John Naisbitt.
For US, click here.
For UK, click here.

2. Getting a Job: A Study in Contacts and Careers by Mark Granovetter
For US, click here.
For UK, click here.

3. Networking: The Art of Making Friends by Carole Stone
For UK only, click here.

4. Nonstop Networking: How to Improve Your Life, Luck, and Career by Andrea R. Nierenberg
A pragmatic and easy to read book which explains what looks like magic when you see an expert at work. The author goes into personality types, showing you approach each potential contact differently. Well worth buying, reading, then keeping it by you to remind you how to tackle all kinds of different situations.
For US, click here.
For UK, click here.