Negotiating

Can you remember being in a supermarket and pleading with your mom for a particular sweet or cereal (actually my 18 year old daughter still does that to me….).

You were negotiating, and most of the time you were probably successful.

You may have offered to be good, or simply persistent (the "pester factor" have a look at your TV adverts, they encourage it).

You were negotiating.

As we grow up, we seem to lose the boldness and creativity needed to negotiate. Whining as a child can be effective, but not very effective as an adult!

But other strategies are. Why don't you use them? Do you know what they are?

You might not even realize you are in a negotiating situation.

It's not always about selling something to a client, or buying a car. If you don't take advantage of negotiating opportunities, & practice, you could be missing the chance to improve your life.

Sometimes, after an encounter, you may feel vaguely uncomfortable or even resentful without knowing why - maybe you have come out the wrong end of a negotiation that you didn't even realize you were having.

Negotiation helps both sides come to an agreement that both are happy with. If we didn't negotiate, the alternative is intimidation, force, war, whereby one side tries to get everything and leaves the other side weak/ unhappy/ crushed.

Negotiation involves a series of stages.

First, you have to know what you want or need, and at what point you are willing to walk away without getting it.

We have all been carried away in the heat of the moment, and ended up with something we didn't want (a "bargain" at a sale) or paid over the odds because just had to have it.

So, prepare. Know what you want, but set or agree what you are prepared to pay or give in exchange.

Second, and very importantly, what does the other side want?

What's important to them? If you have knowledge that you think isn't valuable, maybe the other side thinks it is - small price for you, big benefit for them - thus you may be able to squeeze the price.

You may be able to work out a creative solution that satisfies everyone - the classic win-win scenario.

Does the other side's behavior show honesty and sincerity?

Can you trust them? Some people are up front, others are more guarded and think you have a hidden agenda - as might they…..

Third, understand your own behavior - it's all very well to think you will act fully rationally yourself, but you all have your foibles, promptly forgetting the carefully planned way you were going to approach things.

Counter any identified weakness by having a colleague along to balance.

Negotiating with a Supplier or Customer

This is almost entirely due to lack of preparation.

Know what you want, and understand the other side.

For example, if you were in the food trade and needed just the juice of an orange, not the whole orange, your starting point may be to buy the whole orange, but an ideal situation may before the supplier to sell you just the juice at the same price or less - you don't have to squeeze the oranges and dispose of the skins, and he has a potential second product - orange peel is used in many products.

Alternatively, you could identify a third party for the peel - in other words, there is often more than one solution.

Only doing your homework can give you the knowledge.

Negotiating with your Boss

You may be able to observe a lot about your boss - is he systematic, or does he manage by gut instinct?

Is he rational and reasonable, or is he an aggressive type?

The reason is, it may not be worth your time to ask lots of questions about every assignment - you should be able to work out what he wants from observation.

However, if you get more and more work loaded onto you, you are doing your boss a disfavor, not just yourself, if you don't negotiate so you can perform properly.

You need to approach this in a helpful way, without appearing to complain - for example, how important is a piece of work versus others?

Is the deadline flexible?

Are there others who can help? And so on.

In the final analysis, as said above, you need to know when to walk away. If your job has become so stressful and you are suffering from overwork, you need to know when to literally walk away.

Then your tactics are different……